All the hugs and kisses he gave me, made me feel like there's more to love than I can ever experience in my entire life. And his warmth... I cannot begin to describe what it feels like to be close to one who's so alive and not... cold-skinned like I am. He took me in and sometimes I still ask myself, why me?
I told him how much I appreciated this.
All of this. From the first day I talked to him on Marit's old chatroom and messageboard, until today, and always.
Late in the afternoon I went back up to my studio and vowed to finish a painting before midnight. And I did. My eyes hurt after that, but it was worth it. I have the painting on my art blog now. My first one on canvas. Every year I would give myself a wonderful gift. This year was a piece of canvas to paint on.
Last night I remembered 4 dreams! That rarely happens to me.
- In one dream I got out of bed and noticed that I bled all over it, even blood on the floor. So much blood I knew I should've died.
- In another dream I saw my family and my relatives, and I finally opened up to them - told them a secret I'm in fact not ready to. They starred at me. Questioned me. Intimidating me.
- In the next dream I was a child, curious about a strange animal that was trying to open a box with another animal in it. When the cage flew open something scary sprang out to me and I ran as fast as I could. It chased me but I outran it.
- In my last dream I saw a tsunami. Whether or not this was another one of my predicting dreams, I cannot know. Three divers ran towards me from the sea telling me to run - the water's coming. I saw a large buildig on a hill, what looked like the White House or a very large museum. I ran towards it to safety. When I looked down again I saw water everywhere. Brown. Debris. Pulling everything back out to sea. I didn't see that many people safe up in the house with me. No idea if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
This morning I was touched when I read the birthday wishes I received on Facebook from relatives and friends... and I was surprised. I spent an hour or so writing back and basking in the ambience of being remembered. Haha. Feels good.
Turning 24 is kind of something new. When I was depressed years ago I didn't think I would let myself get this far. But now I think I'd like to seize the year, then carry on.
I was born. I grew up.