Sunday, 14 August 2011

13th August: Birthday

A Saturday... it was about 22°C outside, windy, grey, cool. I spent it with Michael, taking a walk downtown, cooking up a great meal in the kitchen, and cuddling up on the couch watching a movie I've been looking forward to: Let Me In.

All the hugs and kisses he gave me, made me feel like there's more to love than I can ever experience in my entire life. And his warmth... I cannot begin to describe what it feels like to be close to one who's so alive and not... cold-skinned like I am. He took me in and sometimes I still ask myself, why me?

I told him how much I appreciated this.
All of this. From the first day I talked to him on Marit's old chatroom and messageboard, until today, and always.

Late in the afternoon I went back up to my studio and vowed to finish a painting before midnight. And I did. My eyes hurt after that, but it was worth it. I have the painting on my art blog now. My first one on canvas. Every year I would give myself a wonderful gift. This year was a piece of canvas to paint on.

Last night I remembered 4 dreams! That rarely happens to me.
  • In one dream I got out of bed and noticed that I bled all over it, even blood on the floor. So much blood I knew I should've died.

  • In another dream I saw my family and my relatives, and I finally opened up to them - told them a secret I'm in fact not ready to. They starred at me. Questioned me. Intimidating me.

  • In the next dream I was a child, curious about a strange animal that was trying to open a box with another animal in it. When the cage flew open something scary sprang out to me and I ran as fast as I could. It chased me but I outran it.

  • In my last dream I saw a tsunami. Whether or not this was another one of my predicting dreams, I cannot know. Three divers ran towards me from the sea telling me to run - the water's coming. I saw a large buildig on a hill, what looked like the White House or a very large museum. I ran towards it to safety. When I looked down again I saw water everywhere. Brown. Debris. Pulling everything back out to sea. I didn't see that many people safe up in the house with me. No idea if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

This morning I was touched when I read the birthday wishes I received on Facebook from relatives and friends... and I was surprised. I spent an hour or so writing back and basking in the ambience of being remembered. Haha. Feels good.

Turning 24 is kind of something new. When I was depressed years ago I didn't think I would let myself get this far. But now I think I'd like to seize the year, then carry on.
I was born. I grew up.


  1. There's always a dream with blood in it. If I were you, I'd be concerned about that. But then again, you actually thrive on that :P

    Finally you watched Let Me In ;) My only concern is that you had already seen the original (I haven't), so comparisons are unavoidable. Do tell me your thoughts on it soon.

    Happy Birthday.

  2. This is weird, Ira. This morning, I dreamt of a friend that bled too while she was sleeping. Due to fear of blood, I ran away, I even seen blood on the stairway, and didn't know what to do. I ended up calling an emergency team to go to her. And, then I couldn't recall what happened next =/ What I did when I woke up was to check up on this gurl, but I didn't tell her about my dream.

    Well, anyway, I'm happy that you had a wonderful day on your special day. I can imagine how sweet you two on that day hehe :) Speaking of Marit's old chatroom, I can't believe how time flies. You were just...what 15, 16? And now you're 24. Me 27. Hehe. Hope I, and your other friends that you met through M2M, will be part of you and Mike, always :) And, yeah, we'll keep in touch :) Hugs, Ira ;)

  3. make up your mind. cold skin or cold blooded

  4. @Aaron: I didn't write about this but I did dream about reading a recipe book on how to cook humans! I would never describe what I have seen.
    I have seen both versions, and yes, I will write about it soon.

    @Rhea: Wow, Rhea. Really?? That's interesting. Blood is one of the most common dreams we all have. Growing up I've heard that it's either a good thing or a bad thing. But I don't really know. But I do know that it can be scary.

    Yeah, I was 16 when I first went on Marit's site :P. Time flies but let's keep in contact and remember those times.

    @Tom: Oh Tommie... Someday I'll feed off you and your warm blood and skin will be miiiinnnee.......