22 November 2014

Why horror movies fail miserably...

...to convince me. Everytime I get introduced to a new horror movie I get tiny little butterflies in my tummy feeling all excited inside like a little kid waiting for Christmas. But each time I also have to remind myself to tone down my expectations (or even prevent them altogether) since what's coming at me may or may not be purely - to put it kindly - nauseating.

What I find good about horror movies is the fact that the genre's still pretty much an open partly-written book. In my opinion that means that there is still a lot of room for improvement and creativity. So it's good to see different individuals attempt or fail to create the near-perfect horror film.

I don't consider myself a horror expert, nor do I have the means or skills to even set one foot in the film industry. But I am a fan of the horror genre, I breathe it, I worship it and I accept it and being identified with it means that I am rather protective of my (childhood) interest which further leads to the conclusion that when I see horror films that are supposed to inspire me nauseate me, my protective instincts turn into disappointment and eventually pressurizes up in my veins like tectonic plates under our frail mortal feet waiting to set all hell lose.

So why is it that the majority of all horror movies out there fail miserably?
Let me explain the basics:

  1. Too much sex just because
    That's so scary (-_-")
    Via: http://finalgirl.blogspot.de/2011/01/film-club-church.html

    Yes, yes I get it. I really do. Sex sells. The only reason to get people to watch a horror movie or any movie for that matter, really, is to make people have sex in them. The more the better.
    Really?

    Really?!

    I thought this is what porn is for. But okay. Apparently it seems to work on a superficial level. On a superficial level you could make a ton of money by selling shit if you offer the pleasure of sex to the masses. Yet there is more out there to see for the male audience as compared to the female audiences. It's like women don't even exist except to pleasure the males. But... different topic.

    Implementing sex in a horror movie is like implementing sex into football. Sure, that might make more women watch football especially when the guys start undressing and making out with each other after scoring their goals, but does it make football any more football than it already is? Or would it only leave your passion for football scarred for the rest of your life? Think about it. It's passion here that's being ripped up into pieces in midair.
  2. Too much blood just because
    Wow.
    Via: http://www.btchflcks.com/2011/10/horror-week-2011-the-descent.html#.VHD3_IuG80M


    I can relate to this fascination with blood. Isn't it great what blood means? If you have it, you live. If you lose it you die. It's messy, it's crimson, it rots and if you get it all over the place it's scary, right?
    Okay, kudos to those who manage to scare people with blood especially since not everyone likes to see it.

    But when horror is only achieveable with the sight of blood and gore, then it isn't horror to me. It's just a mess. It completely takes away one of the most important factor in the genre - the potential to traumatise. It doesn't mind fuck you the way it should.

    If I wanted to see blood and gore I would go watch a real documentary about people in history being tortured and starved in war. Real suffering. Real pain. Deep stuff to think about.

  3. Too much guts and intestines flying about just because
    Look at this massive pile of shit.
    Via: Moviepilot
    Same principal as above. Even best combined with blood. The more the better. Horror movies with exploding guts in them, I think, should have their own genre for it: Gore. Then it would really be just that. I have watched such so-called 'horror' movies with friends and not once have I seen them 'horrified' by it. The reactions were mostly surprise, disgust, they cringe, frown or what usually happens is that they start cracking up like hyenas as if it was the most hilarous thing they'd seen. Gore has ever since rather been this fun factor in films for me. People just crack up coz it's probably cool how the special effects are done and all that stuff.
    It's definitely an element that's not necessarily a foundation for horror because it doesn't lead people towards critical thinking or towards overcoming the fear of the unknown.

  4. Too much boobs just because
    Best shit ever.
    Via: Jezebel

    Back to the sex, people. Boobs. Don't we all love boobs? I get the impression that if there's a lack of naked, full boobs in films then the whole film becomes a flop, or labelled as uninteresting, conservative, boring, family-friendly (oh how we adults hate that word) or approved for all ages (what a nightmare!). No one wants to see it anymore coz it's not R-21.
    But theoretically speaking: what happens to the horror film or any film altogether if you take away the boobs?

    Absolutely nothing. Some of the best films in history have achieved to inspire and won many outstanding awards without showing boobs. But what is so wrong about showing boobs?
    Well, first thing to ask is: Why show boobs at all? And HOW is it being shown? Is it really that significant to the plot? Does it add to the element of horror? Is it realistic to the storyline? Can the film be done without this apparently - despite modern thinking - unfortunately uncontrollable human lust?
    If the only reason is to pleasure our male audiences or to get our moist regions going then sorry to say, but that horror film just commited suicide in front of me.

    Elements of eroticism can be implemented in other creative ways which eliminates the objectifiying of women. I couldn't be less interested about women who freely show themselves in the name of emancipation. I'm more interested in what all this is doing to our minds - to the minds of our young boys and to the future of little girls who have the potential to empower themselves, not offer themselves in the name of bullshit.

    I even came to the point of thinking: fuck emancipation, it's time for empowerment and justice.

    Show me the heroin in a horror film or in any film, who didn't walk around half naked, made out with a carcass or showed her boobs and then got brutally killed just because.
  5. Victims are almost always young, dynamic and attractive... just because
    ...because only teens like horror
    Via: Whatculture
    The usual story: A bunch of friends meet up somewhere and drive off to a faraway unknown house in the middle of the forest or a desert, goof around, drink and party, the girls get naked, the guys watch and get all horny and once everyone has had sex or made out with other some psycho shows up and starts brutally killing them one by one. Either everyone dies in the end or one person survives only to be persued by another psycho before... well... also being killed and scattered. Yada yada you get the picture.

    There is something about the idea that horror is only supposed to be appealing to young people. Which is such a bad assumption because horror fans are of all ages. Japanese horror for example, take many different kinds of characters into consideration, from children to the elderly, because I believe that horror exists in our everyday lives and not just during some weirdass weekend trip with a bunch of teens getting high and then butchered.
I could count the best horror films I've seen with one hand. You might think that I haven't seen that many but I have seen enough. And maybe I haven't seen that many since even after watching the trailers I get so disgusted, but I am absolutely open to suggestions and recommendations. Show me some really good ones without any of the above mentioned clichès so that I can prove myself wrong.


Horror in my opinion should be mind-boggling, it should rape your mind into thinking up of a solution or a way out of no way out, and it should deeply inspire and make us face our own demons. Horror isn't there to put fear into our hearts but it's there to show us that we are stronger than it.


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