14 May 2014

Calming down day 65: Finding the right sleeping position

"A strange thing to say" © Gillesgrimoin
The truth is: The worst of a difficult phase is over. It's just that realizing it is a whole different story.

I've been trying to accept the fact that the stressful situation has died down a bit. Trying because it's hard to believe that the worst is over. I can never know and my nerves are still standing guard. Every second.

Although I sleep less this week, I sleep better. I wake up earlier. My body decided to just sleep on its stomach one night and since then I climb into bed at night and lie on it. It seems to work calming down my muscles and my breathing while I sleep. As a result I've been waking up entirely recharged. Incomparable to the past 8 months.

In which position do you sleep best?

It's past midnight now and I look forward to sleep. I look forward to tomorrow. I look forward to next week. It's.... untypical of me to do so. Furthermore, the typical has become even more profound. Like how I've been more introverted than usual. (Oh for God's sake, don't you believe what people say about introverts being shy and timid people.) Avoiding too much stimulation, information, noise and anything that is going on around me. When the wind blows too much I get really annoyed, when people talk loudly I get annoyed, when they increase in number I get extremely annoyed and when they start doing crazy stuff in this magnitude I would wish that the world would end for silence's sake.

It's when I feel like my surroundings drain me of my energy.
And I seek the stillness like most of us seek coffee, bread and butter for breakfast.

Maybe this is why I am staying up late... because I just take in the silence. No TV, no music, no chattering, no birds singing, no traffic. Nothing moves around me. Guess I just want to be in this moment for the longest time possible.

I'm learning to listen to my body again and not my thoughts... or the thoughts of others. I hear them but not more than that. I'm learning to listen to my needs and to bring forth the things that I associate with calmness, curiosity and positive experience. Not those of productivity, pressure and achievement.

I learned a new German saying this week:
"Ich werde dich mit Wattebällen bewerfen, bist du blutest"
It means "I will throw cottonballs at you until you bleed".

If the stress is still talking, then this is what I'm hearing it say now. What it is throwing my way lately is just ridiculous to me. There is a side of this phase in life that seems to see itself as big, powerful and threatening. I simply don't listen anymore.
I'll take them - cottonballs - and make something cuddly out of it.

1 comment:

  1. Sleep is really important to us, after a day of hard work. What can you share to help us.