28 February 2014

Calming down day 11: Resting and taking naps does wonders

Afternoon naps have been one of my priorities lately… since 2 weeks now. It's not that much of a challenge to make it happen, the only challenge is to stop thinking about the workload.

I could bring myself to write another post because I just finished writing out a 5-page reflection of an activity I carried out in Kindergarten yesterday, which I will be documenting in my second practicum report. That thing is going to probably end up having 50 pages or so. A record.
I have 2 months to complete it and my exams are just a few weeks away.

Each time I drift away in thoughts of deadlines and assignments, I feel forced to pull myself back, which is a good thing. The stress has gone down a little bit, I am no longer freaking out the way I used to for the past 6 months, but it's not gone completely. I'm just keeping it under control.

I also received good news from a new school I recently applied to for the new semester: I got in! :D

So this means no more private school… I wouldn't say that life would be easier from now on but I am sure that a state school is not going to kick my ass the way my current one does. The only expectation I have is to be taught by supportive, non-arrogant, non-emotionally-distant and reasonable teachers… because that is the only way even the hardest challenges can be overcome.
It's the most basic principle of education. No educator can teach, when he doesn't earn his/her student's trust.

Despite my efforts to rest, relax and calm down, I still managed to come down with a weird ear infection that started with a dry throat. I overdosed myself with Vitamin C and afternoon naps to the point that I am staying up later than I usually do, just without any pressure or worry about not getting enough sleep. The strange thing is, I am getting enough sleep even if I go to bed at 1 a.m. because of an afternoon nap earlier in the day.
So I've been noticing that a nap does wonders. I can work on my assignments and reports a lot better even if that means I need to make time for it.

I've been constantly rewarding myself a lot now; each time I finish something to be exact. I pick up a novel (aka an eBook-Reader), play a game on a console or PC or watch TV… you know… the typical things that require no brain power and zero intelligence (okay, some intelligence). Because by then I would be so powered-out to the point that my mind just becomes an empty space of echoes.

So I make myself tea… cuddle under the comforters… or listen to James Blake, just like that sometimes… light little candles in their safe holders… and draw the curtains and blinds to keep out the sun. And then I get just enough peace to recharge.

I dyed my hair again over the weekend just to make it blacker than it usually is. Nobody noticed except me… and surprisingly… that was enough. It was a good feeling, knowing that I know what I like without having to meet or exceed the expectations of others. Without anyone even noticing.
I love it…. how black my hair is even in the sunlight.

So that's a wrap up.
I look forward to tomorrow. Another day with the children is always a positive and constructive day.

Good night.

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