31 December 2013

Rest in peace, 2013

This year has been one of the shittiest year in my life. So why am I not glad to see it go?



There's so many things that happened this year. Here's the dark side of my 2013. I...

  • made the wrong expectations.
  • made a mistake and lived with its consequences.
  • saw a loved one breaking down and I stood there angry at myself for not being able to help.
  • loathe and fear the workload from my new school. Every brick of it and everything in it.
  • worked so hard and got only more work in return.
  • made no friends, boo hoo.
  • didn't fit in in class. Still don't. 
  • moped and complained too much.
  • cried at least once a week for the past 5 months.
  • made so few paintings. 7 to be specific. In the whole of 2013. 
  • lost my great-grandmother.
  • am always getting lost in my dreams.
  • deleting my Facebook profile because I got fed-up by some things.

Besides all that there were still things in 2013 that I can never take for granted:
  • living in a pretty apartment
  • enduring the massive workload and still surviving
  • Micha's help and support through our darkest times together
  • having some time to rest and recuperate
  • having painted at all. And 7 paintings in the whole year. Better than none.
  • starting a paintings inventory to keep track of my paintings and their information
  • managing to keep my blog alive for another year, heh
  • keeping in touch with some good friends (you know who you are)
  • spending some time with Micha's family
  • the artists who have inspired me with their music and art

2014 is going to be filled with a whole load of work and my one and only prayer and wish is to survive its merciless wrath. No I am not exaggerating. I don't know how I'll survive (especially psychologically) but in the name of my sanity - and in the name of the mighty Namaqua Rain Frog - I will. 

Happy thoughts, Ira.
Happy thoughts.




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