23 July 2013

Heavy


(via)

When The Wheel of Life's Situations make its full turn I come back to the point where it began... somewhere down below. And as I follow along it seems to get darker and heavier and I wonder if the wheel's even spinning.
Someday this phase will pass and someday things will get better again.

Though I don't really want to worry. I want to laugh... like I did this morning upon waking up. That showed me that joy is possible in the now... not later or someday or whenever.
So that's a bit of relief. I'm doing all I can to distract myself with the company of silliness, satire, comedy, even looking at other artworks from other artists and the things that make me feel loved. What I cannot do is sit around. That is license for the negative thoughts to mob me for the rest of my life. I'm not playing that shit game anymore.

One thing that's being tested on me right now is my patience... and I cannot begin to describe how crucial it is for me not to lose it.

I'm going to watch my favourite tv shows and movies... do some more sketching... cook some good food... enjoy the rest of my summer holidays and begin my 2nd-year vocational training in early childhood education.

New school, new people, new faces, new kindergarten, new colleagues, new children - they are hearing-impaired but three times as lovely. I look forward to working with them for a year.
No one knows how badly I need to experience the world through the eyes of a child again. It's so much friendlier and inviting.


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