29 September 2012

How I like my hands

...how I like my hands

I'm just about stress-free enough to get back to my canvas panels. I was sitting in the middle of my living room last night, laid out 4 panels on a shower curtain I had used as a protective sheet over the carpet and said hello to brush and colour.


My Saturday morning:

I remember a gentle kiss on my cheek and I opened my eyes feeling so alive. There was nothing else. Just love, silence, warmth, skin, and the rising autumn sun that was peeking in from the curtain's edge.

Michael's making breakfast, which I am entirely looking forward to, and on days like these I am so thankful for someone so caring and thoughtful.
It smells so good in here.



Being home:

I need this. Silence, security, privacy.
I'm a simple person who doesn't have to do the craziest things in the world just to feel proud of or at peace with myself. I don't need parties, cigarettes, alcohol or a lucious social life to feel alive, as if afraid that no one would accept me or as if every moment is a moment to waste without them.
I don't have to prove anyone anything to be able to feel satisfied.
I like my peace. I search for it, create it and find it.
If it was a gift, I would pass it on.



Schedules:

I've written too many plans in my diary, e.g.
Reminder: Study / Next week: Test / Reminder: Work on group project and presentation...
...and it goes on. My October is full of things to do. I did take my diary out of my bag this morning, but I dropped it back in. I'm rather in the mood for painting.

I realize that I am so terrible with plans and planning. I don't really like it but of course I have to do it when it comes to certain things like education, housework and money. The best thing would be to live without having to plan. Like children. Learning by living and doing.

Yet there's always a good side to it: it's how I get things done.



Inspiring days with Finner:

For 7 days I've been listening to the song "From Finner" by an icelandic band I've been in-and-out infatuated with for weeks - Of Monsters And Men. It takes me back to eccentricity... the kind that Björk breathes into her music.

The first line in the song is so haunting that it gives me ultimate goosebumps:
"We came here on his back,
and we caught your eye..."




Right now:

I like my hands dirty. And I like it when they take control.
Now listening to "From Finner", spreading out my working space and letting my imagination take it from here.

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