09 July 2012

The violent girl

Last night I dreamt that I was a social pedagogue (does that make sense?) - a teacher of some kind, working in an orphanage for youths and children.

It was supposed to be a normal day until I noticed a girl, maybe 14 years of age and overweight, burst into a violent outrage. She threw her friends aside, beat them with her bare hands, clawed at them, and grabbed things and threw them.

This was my group of youths and children and I knew that I had to take action. This situation was like fire. The problem was, I didn't know what would extinguish it.

I tore the girl away from the others and pulled her to another room. I told the others to stay away until I say it's okay.

She pulled the room apart... kicking furniture over and breaking anything she got her hands on. In an instant I put my arms around her and held her so tight so that she couldn't throw stuff anymore. The language in the dream was german. I spoke gently into her ear telling her to close her eyes and take one real deep breath... that I am there for her now and whatever her problem is, we will get rid of it together.

She was screaming and her eyes... her psychotic look, as if she would kill everyone, scared the hell out of me but it was fear I couldn't listen to. It was more important to me that she stopped flipping out. I didn't care if I had to give her a tight slap in the face, but I didn't.

She closed her eyes only for a second but they flew open again, angry.
She took a deep breath and I told her, yes, that's it. One more time. And again.
"I am here now," I said calmly. "Stay very, very still with me and you can tell me everything."

She stopped moving but I was still holding her.
And then she said, "They all made fun of me."

The dream was over and I was glad to be in bed where it was silent again.

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