27 February 2012

Turning point

For the first time in 7 months, I could see what surrounds me when I make my way - 20 minutes on foot - to the bus terminal at 6 in the morning. I'm starting to feel nervous waking up because the sky's slowly turning from black to dark blue to bright, bright blue.
Days are getting longer.
Nights shorter.
Like a new world or something.

I've been thinking a lot these past couple of days.
Or rather listening to crazy stuff going through my head to the point that I'm just listening and not responding. Which also means I didn't (couldn't) talk much.

I actually feel pretty rotten, but I'm going to lie and say that everything's all good.


It's bed time though I'm not tired.
Excitement and disappointment - pulling over me until I lost a little control today.
My colleague witnessed how I raised my voice at a poor kid coz she started hysterically flipping out over her fingers getting 'lost' in her goddamned gloves.
I mean, this kid cries, like, all the time.
She can't get her foot into her shoe and she cries.
She can't get something out from a shelf coz it's stuck, so she cries.
She spreads too much butter on her bun, so she cries.
So much frustration in such a small body.
Now I know that my colleague probably thinks I'm a psycho.

Well I snapped out of it in a split second - soon enough.
Calmed down and decided to just communicate with the being suppressed and controlled by the frustration (instead of with the frustration).

Colleague drove me home today and I asked her to drop me off down town. Took a little walk. My head was spinning, I was drowsy and all nauseated. The cold rain helped for awhile.
Happens when I get way too stressed up. Like in the past few days leading up to today. Today was probably the orgasm of the whole phase.

Then I got home and received a "fun" piece of paper with some bunnies on it that made me smile.


  1. Maybe that kid has some sort of disorder. Who knows. It's all right to be frustrated sometimes. Kids are difficult.

    Love that Foster The People song.

  2. oh no. you're going on a rampage

  3. @Aaron: Maybe. I might just find out.
    And yes. I dream about this song.

    @yelly: Keep runningggg...