24 October 2011

Damned Woman

I was a “damned woman” for a second.
At least that’s what a 6-year-old called me.
Not three weeks into my internship and I already recognise who among the kids in the kindergarten I’m working at would one day grow up to be aggressive, anti-social, sad people.

I feel so sorry for the kid, who showed such aggression towards me when I only asked what his name was.

Me: “Hi, what’s your name?”
Kid: “You damned woman!”

I kept asking myself what kind of parents does this one have? How are they raising him? Where did he learn this sort of aggression from? Was he coincidentally born into a family full of problems?

And then I remember… ah yes… in this society, you see aggression every other day. And freqeuntly on TV (which is why I don’t like it).

It’s as though being polite and nice is considered a weakness in this society. That parents either don’t care, display their disfunctional ways in front of their kids while ignoring the consequences, or they raise their kids to be aggressive, egoistic, and rude because they probably believe that without aggression, you get nowhere in life.

But people, it’s the other way round.

So through my observation, I not only notice that he’s as rude as a teenager with raging hormones but he also starts a fight almost every hour, manipulates his friends into giving him their food, tried to manipulate me into giving him what he’s not allowed to have (soft drinks from the fridge, for example) because he thought I was new so I could be manipulated (but sorry, no chance), and he slams doors, shouts whenever he has to respond and in his opinion he’s always right and the others are always wrong.

And what I don’t understand, is… WHY don’t my colleages do anything about it? I mean, they just pull him away and pretty much ignore him because I think they’d rather not deal with the stress.
How I see it though, is that he’s doing all this either because he’s getting little to no attention, or he’s just seen too much shit at home that it’s programmed in him what he believes is ‘the right thing to do’.
They don’t punish him for his mistakes, nor do they praise him when he does something right.
How is he – in the name of early childhood education – ever going to be in the right mind?

He believes that he rules and that’s not cool. If I weren’t an intern, I would’ve integrated a Time-Out corner where he has to sit at each time he displays hostility – no matter how often. I’d take a play-time opportunity or a toy away and he won’t get it back until he recognises what he has done wrong or until he does something good.

But I can only think about such things. The fact is laid out and he’s gonna grow up to be the way he is, or worse. I hope not but the chances speak for themselves. He’s 6 and at this age, we all begin to permanently play the role that we came to know there and then.

I just feel really sorry for him. A bright, talented, intelligent, confident young boy with potential. His parents can just flush that down the toilet.


  1. It's surprising to hear that from a 6 year old.

    But he's 6, I don't think it's too late to teach him. Can you do it, Ira? I know you can. All you have to do is try.

  2. The idea is to only react to good behaviour and ignore the bad ones. This is the age where we all settle down into a specific personality we carry until adulthood.
    There is little I can do with little to no help from the parents.

  3. Can you talk to them?

    I'm willing to bet that kid heard his dad say those words to his mum and he picked up on it.