I had fever because of all this

…like getting accepted in a pre-employment program where they teach you everything you need to know about the career of your choice, learn the twists and turns of your complicated mind from the many tests we have to do, guide us through the ins and outs of applications, interviews and so on and so forth.

The facilitators of this program became surprised at the fact that my german’s good. But I had to make them step back a little and realize that it’s not THAT good. Okay, maybe I’m underestimating, but since I have had to learn things the hard way from my experience of overestimating, I realize that I would rather underestimate.

It’s my third day in the program. It’s a little like work. I’m there at 7:30 a.m. and I’m home at 5:00 p.m. and the next thing I run for is the quickest meal and the cold sheets of my bed.
My body was threatening to shut down. I had a bit of fever. Heart-rate went a little all over the place. Stress levels over the roof.
Then I calmed down again.

I’m almost there. Being the oldest (geez) in class is like an eye-opener. I was like, wow, where am I? I used to be 23 once. Heck, I used to be 20 once.
All these ‘kids’ around me, with their baseball caps, MP3 Players, iPhones, baggy jeans that look like they were sewn together while the sewing machine blows up, the slangs or street-language that I understand no word of, and of all things: as always, I don’t fit in.
I never did. Never will.
Most of all I realize one thing: it was once scary for me to be the youngest. Now it’s scary to be the oldest. I’m thinking, the facilitators are gonna think that I’m too ‘locked inside’, but the fact is that these kids are a whole different generation and we’re not exactly on the same wavelength. When I say “Hey!!”, they say “Whassssaaaaaaaaaaa…!!!!” (0_o)
Obnoxious.

The Girls Who Loved My Hair:
During a short break I sat myself down at a table, had something to eat, and went to the restroom before returning to class. As I made my way along the hallway, I saw three young women in my way chatting with each other. They moved a little so I could pass through. Then one of them said in German: “Oh god, this asian girl has pretty long hair! Look, look.”
The the other said, “I’ve been wanting long hair for so long!”
And they had no idea that I understood every word. I thought it was funny. I like my hair long too, which is why I’ve kept it that way.

I succeeded at least in ripping myself out of bed as early as 5am in the morning. Since the days are getting shorter, it’s a lot easier to sleep without the sun 2/3 of the day. And I’ve noticed Winter’s chill in the air. Autumn’s very much on its way. I’ve been thinking about the frosty cold nights that sting my skin as the slightest breeze makes contact…. as my nose soon after bleeds and my fingers go numb. I miss winter’s pitch-darkness.

He wasn’t the first (or the last, I suppose) to be entirely surprised that I speak german as though I’ve lived here all my life. I took it as a compliment. He said that most of his foreign patients brought their partners with as translators. I said, nah, I’m the kind of woman who gets things done herself. And he gave me so many convincing nods and making me feel so honoured and was all smiles and ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ing… anyway…
He’s a great practitioner. Repeat: Great. Made my first visit completely nightmareless. My check up went well, I was comfortable, didn’t go all ninja. He was curious as to how I met Michael, and I gave him the shortest version of the story possible. Before I knew it, the check-up was over, and I was partly relieved that I’m perfectly healthy and that I don’t have any ‘thing’ living inside me or feeding from me. For now anyway. Now I hope it stays that way for awhile.

That’s a nice title for a novel don’t you think? After class I went to get some stuff at the grocery. At the cashier there was this elderly man queuing behind me. Everything was totally normal. So I paid, left the premises, and noticed that this man went past me on the other side of the street on his bike. It was windy and I was trying to concentrate hard on taking one step after the other.
Then at some point he cut across like 5 metres in front of me and blabbered a bunch of senseless words at me.
He said, in german, “You can’t even notice me, you old pig”.
And I was like what the-? I was 5 meters away from him minding my own business. There was no logical or possible reason for this situation at all.
I looked at him and saw that he even made the effort to turn around and look back at me as he cycled on.
I yelled, “Are you by any chance extremely handicapped?!” which I shouldn’t have said since I was sure he could outcycle me anytime if I ever had to run for my life. But heyyyyy… that was so rude! This aggression will not stand.
But because he didn’t hunt me down on his bike, he’s probably a retard anyway.
So… retarded old man, you are forgiven.


End of this week’s update.