13 June 2011

Spastic Moment with a German Roast Chicken


It was like enlightenment.
I was shown today, by my random acts of spasticness, that I am indeed very, very clumsy.

I went grocery shopping this morning, filled up my trolley so much that it's almost overflowing, and I actually did notice that. On the way back to my apartment I somehow 'told' my trolley to please don't explode.

And guess what it did?
KaBOW!! Just after I crossed at the traffic light, pulling the trolley behind me, it rolled over the tiniest bump in the road.... well... my frozen german roast chicken flew out, the tube of tomato purée flew out too, and a glass of pizza spices dropped so hard that it shattered and deposited its remains wonderfully on the cobblestoned path.

Ahh... what a symphony.
An elderly woman who was behind me even cried out, "WOOOH!" because she saw it all happening. Haha.

I told her, "Schade." Which means 'too bad'.
"Ja." She said. 'Yes'.
And she so carefully walked away from me as if afraid that I might ask her for help. She was probably so freaked out by my exploding groceries that even though she went the same way I did, she actually stayed at least 10 meters away from me. Haha.

I picked up the shattered glass and rearranged everything back inside nicely, but the frozen german roast chicken wouldn't fit so I cradled it in my left arm.
Then it was way too cold so I held its plastic wrapping by my fingers.
After a couple of meters the frozen german roast chicken decided to fly out of my hands and roll on the asphalt like an oval brick.
My goodness, I thought, what the hell is wrong with this damn chicken?!

Okay, I picked it up again, it was all cool, and we (my groceries and I) made it home before the frozen chicken could roll on the street for the third time.

Just one of those days when I get to be retarded against my will.