01 February 2011

The perfect woman (almost) every man wants

I saw an American talkshow one afternoon where a famous someone was interviewed, the lead member of a very successful metal band, KISS. All I could remember was his stage name: The Demon.

I’ve heard of KISS, heard their music, and from what they looked like it was enough to scare (girl word, oops) Dracula out of his coffin. Never interested me though coz I thought it was a little too much drama.

So, back to the interview, I shall say that it was interesting. When The Demon spoke – and I have to mention this, by the way, that he of course didn’t do the interview with all that makeup and costume on – so when he spoke I noticed that he immediately, without hesitation, regardless of what the interview was about, talked about how much of a rightful king he is.

Men just like that sort of stuff. There is no room for anything else. Only being in charge, only being right, only being pleasured, only being the best. Without that humanity just cannot and will not survive.

I really wonder why humans were given intelligence in the first place when it only creates problems towards what’s so biologically important where so-called intelligence has no control over?

Now… I have read and heard some complaints from some men about women. But this is interesting.

Here are some of the things The Demon mentioned about women (all of which I have heard), and what follows are also the things that most mothers never tell their daughters before they get hurt:

1. Don’t stand in front of your man when he’s watching TV trying to talk to him or trying to ask him to do something. You don’t see men standing in front of you when you’re shopping, do you?

2. Keep telling your man what to do and see how long he’ll stick around. Go on.

3. Our fantasies exists. Your fantasies don’t.
You fantasise about a man in shining armour sitting on a horse and the only thing he only wants is you.
First of all, why would he be wearing an armour?
Second of all why would he be sitting on a horse?
And third, why would he only want you?

4. Our fantasies are real. Our fantasies lie in every corner of the street. We can get our fantasies just like that. But you ladies will never get yours.

5. Men don’t get scared. That’s a girl word. We overcome. Eventually.

6. All you ladies have to do is put on your high heels, put on your lipstick, and see if you’re the only one he wants.

7. Marriages don’t work.

If only someone (anyone!) had told me all these things below much earlier on, that would've changed a lot:

1. Men fantasise about having sex with two or more women (and one of them could even be his own sister or daughter for all he cares)

2. Men are visual creatures so they will look, watch, stare, observe, and not just that because they will also take pleasure at the assets of other women whether or not you already look like a Goddess.

3. The perfect woman that’s good enough for him is fair, blonde, blue or green-eyed, tall, long-legged, big-breasted, big-assed, and most of all: she has to be either lesbian or bisexual. Woohoo.

4. The perfect woman can never and should never get pregnant because children are just disgusting and a waste of time. Time is sex, for goodness sake.

5. A woman’s job is to arouse…. and… yup, that’s about it.

6. The perfect woman never changes, but at the same time she should always be something new (bigger breasts), should always be something different (bigger ass), and well, of course always perfect (always 20 years old).

7. Sex is only a reproduction instinct to him. That’s all. And yeah, in this case (and in any case at all) he has the right to contradict himself.

8. The perfect woman is not only the sexiest goddess that ever lived, she also cooks, cleans, and fixes for him.

9. She is supposed to let him do whatever he wants to do and give him all the space he asks for, but of course at the same time she is not supposed to ignore him otherwise he loses interest and then it’s all her fault.

10. If she cheats, it’s her fault. If he cheats, it’s also her fault.

The Demon spoke from his own point of view, and since there’s freedom of speech in most parts of this world… right on. Some men can really be so identified with themselves that chills run down my spine. I find that one of the best mistakes any guy can make is taking all the trouble to talk a woman all the way down. Just because he’s the man.

I find that as much as some women can be so delusional about their fantasies and expectations, men can be just as blinded and revolting. Men seem to enjoy supporting their ‘policies’ with: ‘That’s just how we are. Huhuhu…’

And it’s exactly that that only matters.
But when women say ‘That’s just how we are’…. guess who’s laughing and calling them mad cows? The fact that women are also programmed to be the way they are become something some men use to ridicule, talk down to women, and belittle them with. I’m actually quite amazed.

Don’t believe me?
I’m sure deep down you really do. :)

That doesn’t mean I don’t respect and admire men for their history of success, their astounding achievements, and their masculine capabilities. That also doesn’t mean that I won’t walk with them or stand up for them. But there’s always going to be a pang inside that says… t’yeah… of course… what else could it be….

Every single fairytale book, film, script and manuscript on the fucking planet should be burned.

When will someone start writing realtale books where ‘princes’ actually think, say, and do all the things above because that’s just how they really are? Right? I really think that little girls deserve – I repeat: deserve – to know all that, even metaphorically, so that they can eventually think straight as women. You don’t see little boys being fed with lies, do you? So why should girls be?

And then maybe, just maybe, there is hope for men and women to go back to the ancient stoneage days where there would be no such thing as relationship or commitment. Just sex. No drama. That’s exactly what we’re made for. According to the men.

Right on, brother.
We’re gonna saaaave the world.

More on the perfect attitudes of a perfect woman:

1. I'll swallow it all... I love the taste.
2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?
3. I’m bored. Let’s shave my pussy!
4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?
5. That was a great fart! Do another one!
6. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. Even if it's all wintery and cold I'd still not wear anything.
7. You’re so sexy when you’re hungover.
8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
9. Let’s subscribe to Hustler (porn magazine!).
10. Would you like to watch me go down with my girlfriend?
11. Say, let’s go down to the mall so you can check out women’s asses.
12. I’ll be out painting the house.
13. I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I just wish you had time to play on Saturdays too.
14. Honey… our new neighbour’s daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
15. I know it’s a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
16. No, no, I’ll take the car to have the oil changed.
17. Your mother is way better than mine.
18. Do me a favour, forget the stupid Valentine’s Day thing and buy new clubs.
19. I understand fully, our anniversary comes every year, you should go hunting with the guys, it’s a wonderful stress reliever.
20. Oh come on, what do you say we get a good porno movie, a box of beer, a few joints, and have my girlfriend over for a threesome!
21. Oh come on, not the damn mall again, let’s go to that new strip club!
22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don’t you retire and enjoy your life from now on.
23. You need your sleep, you big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.
24. God… if I don’t get to blow you soon, I swear I’m gonna bust!
25. I signed up for Yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head just for you.


  1. Ira, this is a very disturbing entry. You need to understand, not all of us think like that. This is a fact.

    Sure, men have fantasies, but not all of us would treat women like that or even hope to act out those fantasies or make it real. Some of us do have respect for women and have the intelligence to keep things real where the real world is concerned.

    Yes, some people like The Demon would like to think this is all true and real, some rock stars tend to think they're gods. But I'm not like that, I assure you. And there are people out there like me.

  2. Then there should be more guys like you. For now it's just hard to believe that every other guy I come across is not like that.