25 September 2010

Gothic fantasy art: New painting: Bundle of Labels

"Bundle of Labels" by Ira Roslan
21cm x 30cm, 2010, acrylic and ink on paper.

This painting is inspired by the ego that lies in all of us. What we sometimes call 'the other side of me'. The one that makes you say 'I can't live with myself anymore'.
But who is this 'myself' that we sometimes talk about? Are we as individuals one or two persons (or more)?

The ego, something I am very intrigued about, has the tendency and ability to feed itself through anything and everything that rises out of a situation. I realized it, that when life goes well for me, the ego tends to feed from it and then it starts to put labels on me: Successful, talented, the best, clever etc... and not only that, it puts meaning behind those labels, telling me that I am what it tells me to be. That if I screw up then these labels will say something else: Stupid, pathetic, loser, not good enough, slow, and so on... and the ego would damn well convince me that I am ALL of that.

If the ego says I am 'The Best' then with the fear of not wanting to be labeled 'The Loser' it would make me do anything just so I don't get there... whether I have to hurt someone, bring them down, or lie my way through.

And if the ego says I am 'Doomed' then it makes me believe that there is no way out, and in turn convinces me into a spiral of depression. Not only that, it actually makes me like being depressed and feeds itself by making me believe that the more depressed I am the more attention I may cause... and why? What for?
Well... for the ego of course! Oh, doesn't it love attention!

A motivational writer whose book I once read a long time ago wrote, "Be miserable if that makes you happy."
There's strangely two sides to what that could possibly mean:
1) Feed your ego with what's not perfect in your life (eg. be a walking bundle of labels all of which you have claimed to be your identity), or
2) Accept that things *are* the way they are. Period. The more you try to go against anything (or rather let the ego make you do so), the more you'll only make it worse.

It's not an easy choice, but it is a simple one.

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