08 September 2010

The "Make my life easier, you idiot" Game by the Mailman

The landlord and the mailman

Today, these two had something to do with each other.

First the landlord. He's an awesome, funny 70-something-year-old man with the energy and strength of one half his age. He was the one who renovated our apartment before we moved in, the one who takes care of anything and everything technical and mechanical, and the one who mows the front and backyard. He's like... the repairman, landlord, gardener, comedian, all in one.

One day he helped us install the washing machine in the basement, and a few days later he started to work on some piping work down there too. One afternoon I went down and wanted to do the laundry, but realized that there's no water running into the machine. Lovely.

Yesterday, I went to the employment agency twice because of two separate appointments, and after being relieved from the nervousness of not knowing how well I could carry a conversation in German in an official situation (proud of myself though for at least making it to some point), I came home to find out that the landlord re-labelled our mailbox.... incorrectly.

That very same day, a mailman came by, whom I did not see.

Fast forward to this morning, I met the landlord again after calling him last night to let him know about the lack-of-water situation in my washing machine as well as the wrong label on our mailbox.
He fixed the washing machine brilliantly, and then when it came to the mailbox issue he was all like, "Ooooaaa.. Ich wüsste's nicht! Ich dachte...." (I didn't know! I thought.. blah blah blah.. on he goes).
So he tells me that he's gonna re-redo it, and I already gave him an example of how. Sooo... I hope he gets it right this time (You can do it, Herr Dietrich! HAHAHA)
Until then I put a temporary corrected label up, just so it's helpful to the mailman too.


And then... hours later, the mailman rang. I opened and thought there was gonna be package for me.
But no. I realized that he only wanted to complain to me about how his job was made sooooooo unbelievably difficult the day before because he had to take a letter back, it didn't get delivered to us because he noticed that yesterday it's a different label, and then today it's again a different label.

On and on he goes, telling me how I have to make up my mind, "You have to decide, you know, you know what I'm saying? You understand me? Huh?"

I let him continue for 3 minutes and then I said, "Sind Sie fertig?"

Of course no, he didn't want to finish, he wanted to go on about how his life has been so terribly ruined by this one miserable ever-changing label on our mailbox. The ultimate male drama right at my doorstep.

I kept smiling, I listened, I let him go on for a couple more seconds while I mentally build my next german sentence.

So then I interrupted and said, "HALLO. Ich verstehe. Das ist mir auch ein Problem weil der Vermieter Falsch gemacht hat, aber ich habe mit ihm heute Morgen gesprochen und alles wird klar. Okay? Machen Sie sich kein Stress."
(I understand, that's also a problem for me since the landlord made a mistake, but I spoke to him this morning and everything'll be clarified. Okay? Don't stress yourself.)

Then he took out a roll of sticky tape out of his pocket, tore out a piece, and as if it was the most normal thing to do he stuck it on the temporary label. To make it stick more?
Geez... I wish I could drop dead laughing because I had absolutely no idea why he did that or what that was good for. I just watched in awe... it was absolutely weird. And when he was done he told me that the label shouldn't be removed now.

Sigh. I actually thought that he had a role of tape with him on purpose. Haha. I couldn't be bothered to waste my brain processing power to tell him that we're getting a new label soon and that this temporary stuff has to go anyway. I took the intitiative to grab the two letters for Michael out of his hand so that he can finally stop talking and go.
I said, "Danke schööööööööööööön.." which had to be my longest thanks in german so far. Then I smiled again and waved bye-bye and closed the door.

Next time he delivers stuff to me, maybe I have to offer him cookies and candies and chocolates and biscuits. I mean, yeah, I know it's stressful on his part when he can't deliver stuff (coz he's the ultimate mailman, right? He has to deliver, if he doesn't then he fails and that's just so unacceptable), but that was just totally... weirdly... mail... I mean male.

Where in the world do you get a mailman that actually lectures you on whatever's not right on your mailbox?
It occurs to me here that almost everyone's playing the "Make My Life Easier, You Idiot" game.

And yes, the part about straight-forward(psycho)ness being the stereotype... it was right at my door today.
Poor mailman. I hope he stops thinking like that... coz it's so.... poisonous and makes other people miserable all because he's miserable.
Not good at all. Where is the love? ;)

Shit just happens too, you know. Some people have to realize that eventually. It doesn't always have to be someone's fault. This whole blaming game, I'm so sick of it. We all make mistakes, but it doesn't mean we're trying to make anyone's life miserable.

What an experience. There will be more to come, I believe, since I'm on my own this week.
I attract weird things. It's true.


  1. why on't you make my life easuer andget me your new but wrohg addrewss?

  2. You make my life easier first by spellchecking

  3. You should be able to make my life easier my not making me type properly

  4. I like your mailman. He was just probably having a bad day. No reason for him to take it out on you though.

    Happy Eid.