21 May 2009

Zensation

I did something crazy. I drank coffee because I was hungry and didn't know what to eat. It was also because of a strange craving. I just felt like drinking coffee.
Mmm.

The card that I use for my daily transportation by bus and train disappeared. There's still around $5 in it. Okay it didn't 'disappear' because I didn't witness that myself but it was not where I last left it. So it's just not here anymore and I'd have to get another one that's going to cost me $25.
I am trying to accept the fact that I can't accept this. So then it's okay. Nobody knows what happened to the card and I can't find it anywhere even after turning over everything in the house. So, whatever. Maybe I just have to practice going with the flow rather than resisting the inevitable.

The mosquitoes are out and about in large numbers. Got bitten all over today during the outdoor activities. The insect repellent I sprayed on my skin didn't work. In fact, they never do. When I got home I 'fumigated' the entire apartment. The mosquito coil I lighted is working and it smells very Zen at the moment. It is relaxing as I'm writing.

I did some chores too. Pretty much had fun doing it even though my thoughts kept saying 'Do your chores??? No! Not now! There's still too much to think about!'
But I was like: Get rid of the dust, throw out the trash, vacuum the floors, do the laundry, throw out anything left unused for 10 years (thanks to my mum for being a professional things-to-keep collector), and at the end of the day just getting a shower and going to sleep. No thoughts. Just moving along and deriving energy from focusing on how much I love cleanliness ;D

Over the weekend I'm baking a ton of wholemeal bread and I'm pretty excited about it. Baking is so much fun now that I know how it works. Beats cooking anytime. I tend to appreciate the bread a lot more since knowing how it is done (takes effort and patience) stops you from taking such simple food for granted.

I have also finished reading Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle and moving on to A New Earth also by him. It would be my 3rd time reading that book.

You know what I also need catching up on? Deutsch. I've got two letters to write in German, and still deciding if I want to take part in another course or rather save the money and study by myself. I'm either flying solo or having to rely on the Internet. And that's fine.
All this indecisiveness is again mind stuff. Well, I guess if I still have doubts then it's not a deep certainty. The one thing certain that I see now is... nothing. And that's cool. I don't doubt that.
But anyway, what I plan to do is an interesting little German scrapbook.

As much as I'd like to thoroughly plan my weekend, I rather just let it be. So we'll see what happens.
Have a good weekend.
I'll post pictures of my sexy breads soon!

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