You know what I really miss?
Wearing black. And having my endless supply of eyeliner. I also finished the compact powder I brought along and decided that I will just go an buy a new one for myself which I did. And it's... let's just say that I have to live with it. Being in travel-mode means having to keep things simple.
I came down with a stomach ache over the weekend. I believed it was uncooked crushed garlic that my stomach entirely refuses to tolerate. My dinner basically came back out within 3 hours. I always hated the sensation of nausea, but it's one of the things that you get relief from if you just go with it. So thrice was how many times I had to throw up until there's literally nothing else to throw up.
Monday came and I was okay again, and I still am. Eating again as always if not more. And I kinda have a craving for tomatoes at the moment. I bought a good supply for myself sitting in my apartment, haha. Yum. Have you ever asked yourself something like 'Why didn't I think about having that before?' Honestly, I can't describe how delicious tomatoes are at the moment.
The weather was what people would say 'so beautiful' today. The sun was out and it was 5 degrees outside. Just like being in an office in Singapore, except that it'd be 20 degrees more IN an airconditioned environment. Anyway: Winter's over. Says who? Says Eira. It's strange how I find myself - when walking outside - staring hard at naked trees and barren pieces of ground as if trying to force something to grow out of it.
'Spring, Goddamit! Spring! Cover yourselves in f*cking green! How everyone yearns to strip, be merry, and fall in love (lust) again!'
My week is starting off alright. I've been staying over in school after classes to revise all the topics for my test. After the middle of next week I'll have plenty of time to myself. I feel like taking strolls around the city by myself, taking pictures (Tommie, ideas?), getting lost, or going shopping like I have money to spend. There's only about a month to go so I may as well enjoy the rest of my stay here. There will be more than just memories when I go back home. I'd like to know that I've made an effort to get myself somewhere... that I've grown, regardless of how much or how little.
And I have seen so much during my stay here, I can only take it all in.
I have so much homework to do today that I think I will stay up half the night getting them done. I wish I could keep doing this for the rest of the year - this whole intense learning of a new language. If I don't label it 'German' and just learn it as it is and get the feeling of it, then it's just great. In the beginning I used to feel like I have to do this for someone, but now when I somehow decided to do it for myself I tend to enjoy it a lot more.
I've been stressing out about it for ages to the point that I thought... okay... why not accept it as the purpose of my life right now.
And why am I doing this?
I'm gonna go home now and get my homework done. Then if I can't sleep I'm gonna listen to my EBM list and while I'm at it maybe I'll go play with my hair and makeup.... and have another tomato.