18 October 2008

Bookstore Drama

I was making a random visit to Popular since I thought that maybe I could find a 500-page notebook for my new journal. I finished my 11th journal (good job, girl). But somehow I just had to bump into this situation again. I translated the conversation for you the best I can to what was actually said.

Me: [Browsing a shelf of notebooks. Reaches down to a lower section and picks one up.]

Strange (Malay) guy: [Dramatically appears on my right out of nowhere] "Haaaii."

Me: [Stands up and notices a nervous smile on his face]

Strange guy: "Buying a diary for yourself?"

Me: [Mentally prepared for another one of these episodes] "No, I'm just looking."

Strange guy: [Moves closer] "What's your name?"

Me: [Steps away] "Why do you want to know my name?"

Strange guy: [Moves closer] "Can I take your picture?"

Me: [Raises eyebrows. Steps away.] "Excuse me? No."

Strange guy: "Are you playing hard-to-get?"

Me: "Uhh... No. Why do you want to know my name?"

Strange guy: [Moves closer] "I'd like to know you."

Me: "I don't want to know you. Stop, you are standing too close to me." [Holds up hand and steps away from this ding-a-ling]

Strange guy: "Why?"

Me: "I don't want to know you."

Strange guy: "Can we be friends?"

Me: "No."

Strange guy: "Why?"

Me: "I don't want to know you."

Strange guy: "Are you taken?"

Me: "Very much."

Strange guy: "...." [Walks away]

Me: [Makes sure he leaves the store]

I can't deny that I was flattered, but I swear if he had touched me he would've been beaten senseless with every book I could get my hands on in that store. He didn't even apologize - not that I expected him to.

It wasn't even the fact that I was taken that made me push him away. That would've been the second reason to reject someone who's trying to hit on me, because it's easy to be impressed by a guy who knows what he's doing. But like anyone responsible who is in a committed relationship: I know my rules, I know my limits. And I'm not one of those girls any guy can just easily convince or understand (I'll make you suffer when I don't even know it).

But anyway, my point was I wasn't too quick to reject him but a good reason to do so was because of his whole approaching technique, the bursting-personal-bubble technique, the probing questions and all the wrong body language.

No. This is not the way a man can or will ever successfully get a woman.
If you, a guy, does any of the above to try to 'get' a woman, please refrain. It is not only repulsive, it is intrusive, unwelcomed, and fruitless in every sense of the word. You do not 'get' a woman. She's not a thing. You treat her with respect, you earn her trust, you do not look at her like she is a juicy piece of meat, and you do not come on to her in such a strong way at the very first encounter 'hoping' to be friends.

These are reasons I have no respect for men who just dive in, no time wasted -- like hollering, whistling, staring, or yelling after a woman:


Dear God...
Just who wouldn't be confused as hell...

This happened twice this week. The earlier one being an incident on the train while I was on my way home from work. Note this: I was tired and I was fed up with my day. I found a space in the corner just enough for me to open a book, and while I was reading I noticed that the two guys standing next to me were taking turns to look at me. When I looked at them they turned away and started giggling. They were nudging each other the whole time. It wasn't a provoking situation however, so I did the best thing there was to do: acknowledge and act like nothing's happening.

Michael, where are you when I need you here right now...


  1. Michael was somewhere
    and 11 books, where do you even put them..

  2. In a safe and secret place.