10 September 2007

Not for me

There was a robotics competition held at my workplace and the finals was on last Saturday. They had a simulator in the auditorium and it was my duty that day to operate it. So I sold tickets and ran the ride at the same time. It was alright at first but soon I was bombarded by school kids asking unbelievable questions. Viscious kids who crowded around and couldn't wait.

It was very noisy, kids running around, too many people everywhere, and I was not in my best state. What happened was that there was a point when I totally lost it. A student came up, bought ticket for the ride, and I gave him his change. Awhile later he said he wanted to get some change for a $10 note but because of the noise I didn't hear him well. Instead I became paranoid, I thought that I gave him the wrong change so I took the money from him and put it back in the cash box. After some time he asked me for his $10 back and I snapped. I thought he was making fun of me. Conversation goes:

Him: "Miss, my $10?"
Me: "I GAVE you the correct change didn't I?"
Him: "Yes"
Him: "Smaller notes for the $10 I gave you."
And I was very wrong about him then. I should totally lose my job that second. It was completely rude of me. I gave him what he wanted and almost immediately some kid shoved himself right next to me and I had to shout "MOVE!!". The student I yelled at earlier about his money went on the ride and worst thing was that he left too quickly for me to apologize.
So... I feel bad.

This is what happens when I know and I've seen it how people don't take me seriously. That's an unfair generalisation, I know, but I really do feel ignored sometimes. Then when some people actually do take me seriously there's always something I'll miss, and the result is that I become hostile towards those who are totally innocent. Either way I'm in the wrong. I despise them -and- I'm disappointed in myself for the lack of judgment.

This week was a slow one too, like the last. August felt like September to me so it's like a month suddenly has 60 days or something. I'm so frustrated.

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