12 September 2007


I thought someone was shaking my bed this morning but it was just tremors. Earthly tremors. Needed no alarm to wake me up. (Something that actually works.) The bed was creaking and the water surface in Koi's aquarium moved about. Left, right. Up one corner, down the other. Splash splash.
Ok. It didn't splash. But Koi was confused for awhile.

I don't really know what to write about. Gone are the days when I used to religiously write in journals page after page. That lost its significance after the reality of real life kept hitting me between the eyes.

Glad I stayed home today. Even though I wasted time. There has to be some time to waste, you know. When I go off to sleep again soon, I shall waste more. I still keep looking at the time. Trying to make sense of it all.

I miss what I used to love doing.
Drawing faces of people I recognize. It's like immortalizing emotions into me, and the memory stays that way forever. Much like a picture, but drawing makes me aware of every single detail. Similar to my own challenges that I face. Drawing taught me to progress gradually and patiently. Because deep down I'd know that it will turn out alright. Sometimes exactly the way I want things to be, sometimes not. And sometimes I give up. But it's still what it is. My effort.

I miss being unnoticed too sometimes. Just invisible and left alone. There's no one around to hurt and be hurt by. But I've changed. Things changed and I played along.

I have abstained from stepping foot in a library for a week now. My mind disapproves of how I try to distract it from too much thinking with stories about manipulation, angry women, carpet makers, or any educational stuff for that matter. Besides, I'm already losing my IQ =)

It will take awhile until I can activate my Pictures link above because Yahoo! Photos are closing down so I had to transfer all my pictures to Flickr. The only thing I don't understand is that they flagged my account as 'unsafe' and my photos aren't viewable if I'm not signed in. Which means people who are not Flickr users couldn't see them either but that's the whole point of uploading photos online. Once I figure this out the link should work. Let's see how long it takes. I've already requested that they re-re-review my account.
Yahoo! just can't seem to make up their minds. (Err.. look who's talking)

Anyway, good night.

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