06 September 2007

"Cripple coming through"

What am I supposed to blog about? Don't know what I should mention. I feel my body breaking. The only normal routine I got back to is lack of sleep. The only thing that's different is the fact that I am eating more than I used to. Colleagues mentioned that I looked healthier. That could be a good thing or... something funny's going on.

Niz disrupted my sleep last night. I went at past 8pm, she barged in at midnight, and turned on the light discourteously which caused me to wake up. Adding to that: she shouted out the window asking her friends at the carpark below to shut up.
Like I wasn't there. Like I could think "Oh, it's okay, I'm just going to go back to sleep". I couldn't go back to sleep of course.
So... the fact that it's her birthday today, mum bought her a cake that night and I dragged myself out of bed to present myself there with this surprise. Why did I do that? For fun. I slept after 4am then and trying to wake up again was just PERFECT.

I can't measure my stress level but I feel the tension. It's shooting out of every pore on my body. Can't relax either. No relaxing place to go. Nobody to go with. No space. Maybe it's why I'm stuffing myself. This feeling is familiar. Back when I was 14 and 15. Ate too much I almost exploded. Now I need.... maybe.... therapy. And perhaps a lockable room so I can sleep in it peacefully.

Maybe I'd want to go out of the country again. It's how it feels right now. When you start travelling, you can't get enough of it.
Maybe cooking would help. I just need to make time for it.
Reading doesn't help though. I finished an entire novel and had no idea what I just read. I'll like it again some time in the future but for now I don't. I should avoid libraries and bookstores in the next 10 months.
TV helps too. I'm watching House's Season 3. Maybe Boston Legal and Monk is next. I don't know. I just need something credible to watch. Something that would make me laugh at times.

A massage too would be very much appreciated.

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