The scary thing about being away was being on my own. Not lonely, just alone. The scary thing about being home is also being alone.
This picture was taken inflight when the couple seated next to me went to the toilet. It was about 5am in Frankfurt (which was still 3 hours away then), it was a 12-hour flight, not too long :P. And... Qantas serves too much food. Flight's worth it.
Being in Germany was a nice (temporary) change. Imagine being in a country where every creation and living thing looks different and you feel like a helpless mute coz you can't speak the local language enough to save your life.
I had the best time I could have this year though. Turning 20 there was interesting, I also caught up with Michael and we had a good time. Good times pass too quickly. Well I couldn't thank him and his family enough for their hospitality.
I'm home now and it's good to be here. I miss some things, like my family, and having a sense of direction, knowing how things work, I miss the food, and being able to speak in Malay (and maybe even Singlish!) again, haha. Yes. Now I can understand street signs again, or any signs for that matter.
The day after I landed I had to go back to work. Great, huh? I will be working like crazy in the next two weeks or so. Although one thing I look forward to is a better job where I must put up with routine, deadlines, stress, crowded trains, 5-days a week, and absolutely no life. Sweet.
Wish me luck.
Now it's back to moving on with 'life'. I've been trying to get used to things again, especially the heat and sleep. I'm still disoriented. My mind's somewhere out there and emotionally I'm a little lost too.
I went outside a lot just to tire myself out so I can sleep at night and not just lie there until 3am. I watched tv, watched the movies I bought on DVD (Banlieau 13, Und das ist erst der Anfang, and Breaking and Entering). Drama stuff dealing with confusions, making decisions, and making things right.
I cooked too, I made some pasta with mushrooms over the weekend. And today I made sushi. Totally killed myself with the wasabi. It was painful when I took too much of it in one bite. Fun but not very nice on the eyes and nose.
My mum also bought some vegetable curry over the weekend so I had some of that with rice too.
My sushi looks terrible...
When I was in Germany, I had fondue with vegetables. That was really nice. Michael and I also had Satay, and Sushi, and a lot of pasta. There was also a disasterous time when I cooked with too much chilli... not very nice.
I'm reading a book by PJ Tracy called Live Bait. Just one of those writers (it's just a pseudonym but it's actually written by two authors) who play well with words. I also have a book by Andreas Eschbach called The Carpet Makers, translated from German. Supposedly science fiction.. but it could be interesting.
I'm having a good time putting pictures together (about 400 pictures in total, and more on the way) and I'm also editing the videos that I took with my digicam. Although I won't be putting all of them online.
My parents were glad to see me again. My sisters too. Which was good to know. Didn't really expect that. And I get to do housework again too, which I have to admit is cool. I won't feel the same way about it after awhile, for sure.
I won't feel the same way I do tonight. I won't see him for some time again and that's hard to think of. Maybe you get to see your Sweetie every other day but here I am again wondering what he's up to, or will I see him again. Just waiting for time to pass and trying to seize every minute of it for the sake of the future. At the same time there will be pressure again, uncertainties, tears, ups and downs, and so much effort just to stay sane.
Okay, one more picture.