1. you're fed-up with someone who's always sarcastic towards you and you want revenge
2. you don't want revenge; you just want to save yourself from going crazy
Here's what I can tell you:
I'm here to give you tips for reason number 2. :)
Okay. Keep on reading.
Tip #1: Take it VERY unseriously
Sarcasm is not funny and is often used against someone's will as a form of manipulation. It has its roots in greek and it means "to rip flesh". I call it sugar-coated bullshit. It is meant to hurt. To take it seriously means that you are giving that person license to hurt you. So why do that to yourself?
Tip #2: Recognize their fear of being direct with you
This means that they might have other underlying or personal problems that are bothering them so much to the point that they turn bitter. I don't know about you but I would feel sorry for them. You wouldn't know what they've gone through in life. You could ask if they need professional help but I would rather count my blessings.
Tip #3: Make eye contact and smile like you mean it
Many of us underestimate how powerful a smile is. It's either heartwarming, contageous or downright evil.
So when you spot the sarcasm coming, make that eye contact and smile. It doesn't even have to mean anything but it drives an ill-willed person insane without you having to say a thing.
Their minds are different. Their minds control them so they will read into everything so much and end up worrying about it. But hey, it's not like you did anything. You just smiled! :)
Tip #4: Be firm and say: "Don't use sarcasm on me, it doesn't work"
"It doesn't work".. those three words make it very clear to them that sarcasm isn't going to take you anywhere. Sarcasm doesn't produce results or solutions, it produces stupid questions and excalates the negative energy. And the ego absolutely loves to feed on that so it can feel better. So make it clear. It doesn't work.
Tip #5: Come back to the point.
Instead of addressing or reacting to the sarcasm, what you could do is direct the conversation back to the point. What were you -actually- talking about? And take it calmly from there.
Tip #6: Sink your roots and thicken your skin
When the sarcasm is pregnant with insult, wit, knives and nails the first thing to do is to stand your ground as if your life depends on it. You must. Like a palm tree on the shore during a tsunami. You must. You might lose your coconuts and your leaves but you will stand against the aggression and you will survive.
Look at it in a positive way... this is going to teach you a good lesson on dealing with the more important things in life like criticism or feedback which are the things that help us become successful in the first place.
Tip #6: Leave the situation
Listening to Naughty Boy's "La la la" might just help
If it overwhelms you then walk away. Remember what they say about self-defense? Walking away from your attacker is NOT a sign of weakness or cowardness. It is survival and it's one of the smartest things you could ever do for yourself. Don't try to be a hero when this is not your fight. Don't try to be a hero either even if it is.
Once you know that this person is toxic, you should definitely consider keeping your distance or breaking off any contact.
And if they persist or insist, you can tell them to come back and try again when they can talk to you like sensible adults.
Tip #7: Ignore the remark and show no reaction
Why should you ignore a sarcastic remark? Doesn't this mean that you're not defending yourself? Well, that depends on what your interpretation of self-defense is, but it sure doesn't mean Get Revenge.
Because how sure are you about wanting to waste your time trying to think about a comeback that would only make you stoop down to the same level anyway?
The aggressor -wants- to see a reaction from you. That's the point of sarcasm and insult. And as long as you don't give them what they want, they're gonna start thinking twice about messing with you.
Tip #8: Misunderstand the sarcasm on purpose
In other words: act like you don't understand sarcasm at all. It drives the person crazy when they see that their sick remarks just don't seem to work on you.
Some might say that they feel sorry for you but if you were to persevere, it might just completely stop them from being sarcastic to you. Coz... it's only sarcasm if you get it, right?
I've used this tip personally and it works like a charm. It cracks me up everytime to watch their faces cringe while they wish they would curl up and die.
Tip #9: Stop, stare and move on
When someone gets all sarcastic on me I sometimes just stop whatever I'm doing and stare at them - just giving them a good poker-face look. And they can make out everything they want out of it, I don't care. I just look at them until they sense the intense and intimate awkwardness between us. You would feel awkward too but it's something you can live with (whereas some other people can't).
When they say "What?" or when they start laughing or giggling or trying to think of more shit to say I'd already be moving on with my pretty life which they unfortunately don't belong in.
Tip #10: Explain what you want and be clear about it
So when your Bullshit-Meter just went off the charts because of what someone sarcastically said, you can always be clear about what you want in that moment. Here are some examples:
- "Tell me what your problem is."
- "Wait a minute. Rephrase that."
- "That's not good enough. Rephrase that again."
- "I would really like to answer your questions. I just don't know what they are."
Now go do something fun :)