18 January 2006

Define: Rude

Ill-mannered: socially incorrect in behavior; "resentment flared at such an unmannered intrusion"

As if it wasn't enough to have a demanding friend. It has to also come from my own flesh and blood. Why do people like to yell at each other? Why do these particular people find it satisfying to yell at me? Do they really think they're at a better state of mind than I am? Do they think that they're better than I am for that matter? I don't like that. At all. What it feels like to be nagged at, or shouted at, is provoking me and it is tempting me to bite back. I don't like arguing and I don't like throwing words in people's faces. But if that's what I have to do because I recognize that it's one of the things that lead me to depression, then I will not hesitate to explode.

Damn. I really should stop acting in such self-sacrificing ways.

When I give these people the cold shoulder, they don't want to know what's going on. They just order me around;
"Do this, do that."
"I want to use your [insert belong here]."
"Vaccuum the house, cook, wash, dry, fold the clothes, wash the plates, clean your room, pick this up, pick that up."
"That's repulsive! How can you live like this?"
"The computer/scanner/printer's stuck. Fix it."
"I don't know how to use the VCR. Record [insert tv show here] for me."
"You should go to [insert third world country] and do these kinds of activities. Such a waste if you wouldn't."

And remarks;
"You always never help. You're useless."
"Serves you right for not wanting to meet new people and make new friends."
"Her voice is too 'valuable'. We all know she would never make a simple phonecall."

What the hell.

I've had enough. Really. They can critisize and underestimate me all they want. In their eyes I'm always gonna be the weird one. The loser. But I'm on my side and frankly, I don't care. Like me and hate me for who I am. If you don't like being my friend then what are you still doing here? If you don't like how uncool and boring I am then don't waste your time trying to make me do things. If you're gonna be rude to me, then I suggest you shut up because I've gotten used to being screwed and mangled in many ways.

Gosh, people... Respect a little. How about that?

1 comment:

  1. I'm the weird one in my family too :( That's why I'm looking forward to college so I can leave this place.