02 December 2005

Strength

Been wanting to update since last Friday. So many things happened since my last entry. The trip to Hong Kong, how I got along with my sister again who I never talked to for more than a year, how I got along with my bestfriend again after more than a month of time-out away from each other, the time I went looking for a job, my first-time driving, problems that got in the way that I dealt with, and how different all of this made me feel now.

Different. Eager. A lot less afraid to face my fears.
And later today I'll be gone again.

Been turning to alot of music lately. Evanescence have been the best. Kate Bush and Björk. And sounds of nature too. But due to the crazy emotions that went on inside of me, listening to Evanescence (and not giving in to the pressure) kept me from losing it - temper, mind, sanity, everything. It was a test. That I don't know if I had passed.
Probably not. Yet. But I will.

It felt good, what it was like to face a challenge head on and just run it over. I wanna do it again.

There's one thing left for me to do - to keep going. Never forgetting how fortunate I am to have what I have, and that life will be better if I work towards my goals one step at a time. And again, just keep going. I'll fall if I have to, as long as there's still a chance to get what I've been longing for when I make the effort.

December... probably my favourite month. When it's the time that I wait for the season to change but it only rains and shines. Already the end of 2005. Never thought I'd make it this far alive, really, just looking at the way I used to beat myself up everytime because of what I did or did not do. It's amazing how things can turn around so suddenly, and how it takes just one person to help make life better, and living worth every second.
He means alot to me.

Note to self: stay strong.

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